Yo dont text me then not text me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
