do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
