I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
