We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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