I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
