Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
