wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
