hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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