Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
