FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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