google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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