dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
