...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
