i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
