yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
