in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i came on her dog
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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