Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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