Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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