I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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