i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
