So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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