I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
