9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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