Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
