you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
