Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
