we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
