we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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