Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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