Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
