just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
