Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
