Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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