also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
