I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
