It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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