You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
