He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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