I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
