lets start a swedish sibling band together
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
