I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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