I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
