Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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