I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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