i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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