the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
