I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
