i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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