i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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