i just had sex bonerless
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
