Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize