This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Randomize
