so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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