how can u be prego again
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize