I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize