My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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