And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
