from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize