Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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