..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
