I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
