I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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