just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
