dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
