Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
