I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Those nachos came to me in a dream
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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