mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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