I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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