every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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